Balancing Act a Joke or A REALLY hard task

So today's blog is talking about a struggle I have since before I was a parent.  When I was younger the balance was finding time to sleep between all the staying up late with friends and husband.  Then it was finding a balance between friends and husband.  Then it was balancing work and hubby, and for a short while ( during my 1st pregnancy) I had a balanced life, there was church, and friends, and family.  After I had kids it was finding a balance between the kids and the hubby, and now I am trying to balance church, kids, hubby, school, and family, and friends.  Kind of find myself asking if balance is possible, if I can achieve all that and still be me? Well I can check REALIZING THAT THE ONLY BALANCE I WILL FIND IN LIFE WILL BE UNSATISFYING, AND THAT THE CHALLENGE OF IT ALL IS A THRILL!  Never something I thought until I had a little time to examine things ( I am on semester break!)

So...this is one I for sure didn't even hope or expect!

I bought a pair of 9/10's from Aeropostle!  I started this journey as a size 18!  Crazy , My goal when I started was a size 12 ( in the back of my mind I would have been content with a size 14), I wanted to weigh 150 pounds, not there yet but really close ( that is how confused I was about close, I had been wearing a size too small for quite sometimes and in fact I have been doing it for along time!).  I weigh less than I did when I was in high school ( the year I graduated 98, my weight 156!), I weighed in last Wednesday at 154!  I have changed my goal to 145, and I am tempted to lower it even more, my medically ideal weight is 113-154.  Something I never expected but probably hope to check off my Bucket List!  And if you ask how did I do it, I work out and eat right( this involves knowing what I am eating, portion control and calorie counting!).  Can't wait to post when I hit, 150!

Checking off a lot!

So it has been awhile since I have blogged and a lot that I never knew I wanted to do until it had been done.  I took my kids to see Disney on Ice!  That was an experience I shall never forget, hope they like it as much as I did.  I hugged and kissed a 5 year old boy, that is right my baby turned 5!  My weight loss journey encouraged other people.  Ok that is a big one for me, I never meant to fix anybody ( other than me).  I am glad though, and I am glad that my friends ( Vanessa and Andee love you both!) told me, becuase I forget or maybe I never knew that the little things we do in life that are good always outweigh the bad.  When I die and meet my maker, I want people to remember those things.  I want people to remember be vibrant and happy, not blue and struggling to get off the couch, so thanks Lord for helping directing me to happiness(even if it involves calorie counting, but much like reading the bible it needs to be done daily to remember what is truly important in life!)

Another one bites the dust...

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So to end August 2010 I spent a great evening with my children, niece Kaily, In-Laws Cheryl and Steve and our little friend Kyrein.  The evening was spent enjoying one of America's past times, baseball.  We got some free tickets to the game.  After arriving at the park, before we even reached our seats.  A Jackhammer's staffer approached us about Kaily and Kyrien playing in one of the games that the teams host in between innings.  Of course the kids jumped at the opportunity and at the end of the second inning bounded towards the outfield exit where we met the young staffer.  It was obvious to anyone that she not only did not have kids herself but did not have much experience with kids.  I helped her guide the children down ( there was another set about 10 & 11) through the JH's office and to my own amazement we sat in the Jackhammer's dugout through the 1rst half of the 3rd inning and kids had a complete blast.  An experience I never thought about about but check being in close quarters with professional baseball players.

The things in life that really matter are how much fun the kids had and how grateful my kids were that their cousin, grandparents and friend could join them at their 1st professional baseball game.  It will be a couple of years before I repeat that with my children.   The blessing that God has given are too great too mention so I would just like to say thanks for "all of it"

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Starting the school year, THE SAME TIME my 4 year goes to preschool

Something I surely never anticipated, but check!  I pictured that by the time my children were this age that I would be comfortably back to work in my dream job and we would enjoy our leisure time.  I pictured that we would not struggle pay check to pay check, and that my children's every wants were met. 

A couple of things changed in the the process of fulfilling the "dream".  I went to school to be a teacher, which is what I thought my life path was.  And discovered, uuuun not so much!  What to do, well I was young and in love and we both that jobs that made for a comfortable lifestyle for the both of us, but much like our youth these jobs were temporary.  Well when Justin took a job as an over the road truck driver in 2002, I skipped from a short term job bartending, to a job as a telemarketer, and it turns out I like to talk and I do it well.  ( For those of you currently laughing so hard that you are rolling on the floor- shame on you, okay it's true I am a bit of a loud mouth!)  I was so good at that job that my boss trained me on how to run in the office in his absence.  He then went on vacation and never returned.  Leaving me an encouraging letter about how he "believed in me and he knew I would fill his shoes with success".  Almost 2 years later, and 2 promotions the office in which I worked was impacted negatively by expanding too quickly and inconsistently.  They needed to downsize, I was offered a lateral move, that would unfortunately cut into my family time, and with Justin over the road still, our time was already little.  In the mean time we had been trying to start our family for 2 years with no success.  I took a job in outside sales making a decent wage, when suddenly I was over taken with car sickness constantly, and extreme exhaustion.  After 2 months of feeling like yuck.  My husband announced in Target that I was pregnant, he was crazy.  I had taken a pregnancy test in December there was no way. 
Well he was right, and now 5 and half years later I can barely see the dream I used to have only the one I currently have.  To be a great mother and wife, to finish with my Bachelor's in Nursing, and to share my love of Christ.  So this silly billy is checking off her bucket list 2 things, Starting the school year, THE SAME TIME my 4 year goes to preschool and changing my life goals and dreams!

A What List?

So while a the Women of Faith Conference last weekend.  I had a great shopping trip ( and spiritual experience!( and I mean the conference not the shopping trip!))  While walking through Sax Fifth Avenue (BTW everyone in the store stared at us like we would like to try and dart out the doors with something we hadn't paid for).  We were well on our way to the exit, when a shiny red sign with white letters peaked my curiosity.  It of course being a sale sign.  The table contained objects of all sizes and shapes, with a multitude of patterns, and array of materials, with only one single common denominator.  In my head I thought wouldn't it be crazy and fantastic if I found a new bag with an expensive label attached that actually came from that designer.  And an authentic, that would unlike my knock offs and wanna be bags, be an object of desire from friends and family, and the best part would be sharing the outrageous price that I paid, $5, or $30 for a bag that would normally go for 10 or 20 times that.

Well I must have been out of my mind, in that moment.  My hands greedily tugged at the bags looking for the hidden jewel.  Instead the first bag I picked up was barbie pink, and look like it had been bejeweled.  I say this not to offend anyone who likes pink ( I my self am a huge fan) or bejewels, but I have reached a stage in my life where low rise jeans and purses like this are no longer carried by my age group.

I could feel my entire body contract, as my eyes read the CLEARANCE Price $497.99.  The red sticker had to be wrong.  I glanced quickly down at the other other purses on the table.  I scooped up a shiny red bag that look liked it may have been intended for a night out on the town.   I lifted the flap on the purse, my eyes quickly adjusting to the darkness inside the small bag, this bag's tag was also adorned with a lovely red sticker, that read ONLY $988.99.  As I caught my breath, the quiet of the room was suddenly apparent.  Me and my group walked quickly towards the front the store, towards the stores that might actually see some of my dollars spent.

As we exited past some adorable jeans that I barely even glance at, I mutter ( once I have caught my breath), well I can check that off my bucket list.  My mother-in-law says "What off your bucket list?"

 "Touching a bag that costs more than my husbands last truck!". 

I am not someone who has an actual bucket list.  I don't spend time thinking about the things I long to do, or think about things that may be merely I cannot afford to do.  I spend my time living my life for my family, and for my Lord and Savior.  So this silly Billy's Bucket list is to do just that live for today, and I will share along my journey the things that I thought, well that I never thought possible.